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Jan. 11th, 2003 11:53 pmWent hiking on the Old Pali Road with some friends today... was nice, mostly cloudy but no rain. However, since it rained last night, we got to see some pretty cool waterfalls that you don't usually see unless it's been raining. Also ran into one of the Army folks I work with... he was there with his wife and family looking for a place to go hiking.
Also went out and bought a sympathy card for an aunt who passed away a few days ago. That brought up a few thoughts that I'd actually rather NOT think about... that someday, possibly soon, I might be receiving those, depending on how my parents fare over the next year or so. So far, they've been okay, but my mom's been undergoing radiation and starts undergoing chemo soon... she's been battling breast cancer, and already had two mastectomies, for anyone who doesn't know.
Even worse is that it looks like I will be moving in summer 2004. I've been hoping to get a second assignment here, mainly so I can look after my parents, but the latest word I've received from my supervisor is that it it's not very likely to happen. It's possible that I can get a humanitarian extension, but even that looks like a long shot at best (not that I'm going to rule it out entirely just yet). The other options I have are even less desirable: both would involve getting out of the military completely, which would allow me to stay here. One option would be to remain a reservist, which I could theoretically do. However, either way I'd have to find some way to make a living, and Hawaii is one of, if not the, most expensive places in the U.S. to live.
I've had several conversations with friends about my obligation to my family versus my primary obligation, which is to my country. I have no problems with necessarily putting my job ahead of my family, because I'm indirectly defending them... but I've been thinking about whether or not I should consider devoting all of my available free time to my parents. After all, it's the least I could do for them after all the sacrifices they made when I was growing up. The tradeoff is that I have less time to spend with friends... and I seriously wonder if that'll lead to a snowballing effect where I'll feel like spending time with my parents is more of a chore than anything else.
Still, there's no way I can place my friends above my parents; and (here's where the discussions come in) I have a very hard time placing my own interests, even my own life, above my parents. It's very difficult for me to say that my happiness should matter more, because that seems very selfish to me... and that goes against the values I've grown up with.
With that all said, there's a plus side here: I'm hoping to be able to go to Further Confusion in a couple of weeks... though that could depend on whether or not we go to war with either Iraq or North Korea before then. We'll have to see...
Also went out and bought a sympathy card for an aunt who passed away a few days ago. That brought up a few thoughts that I'd actually rather NOT think about... that someday, possibly soon, I might be receiving those, depending on how my parents fare over the next year or so. So far, they've been okay, but my mom's been undergoing radiation and starts undergoing chemo soon... she's been battling breast cancer, and already had two mastectomies, for anyone who doesn't know.
Even worse is that it looks like I will be moving in summer 2004. I've been hoping to get a second assignment here, mainly so I can look after my parents, but the latest word I've received from my supervisor is that it it's not very likely to happen. It's possible that I can get a humanitarian extension, but even that looks like a long shot at best (not that I'm going to rule it out entirely just yet). The other options I have are even less desirable: both would involve getting out of the military completely, which would allow me to stay here. One option would be to remain a reservist, which I could theoretically do. However, either way I'd have to find some way to make a living, and Hawaii is one of, if not the, most expensive places in the U.S. to live.
I've had several conversations with friends about my obligation to my family versus my primary obligation, which is to my country. I have no problems with necessarily putting my job ahead of my family, because I'm indirectly defending them... but I've been thinking about whether or not I should consider devoting all of my available free time to my parents. After all, it's the least I could do for them after all the sacrifices they made when I was growing up. The tradeoff is that I have less time to spend with friends... and I seriously wonder if that'll lead to a snowballing effect where I'll feel like spending time with my parents is more of a chore than anything else.
Still, there's no way I can place my friends above my parents; and (here's where the discussions come in) I have a very hard time placing my own interests, even my own life, above my parents. It's very difficult for me to say that my happiness should matter more, because that seems very selfish to me... and that goes against the values I've grown up with.
With that all said, there's a plus side here: I'm hoping to be able to go to Further Confusion in a couple of weeks... though that could depend on whether or not we go to war with either Iraq or North Korea before then. We'll have to see...
