On being a social hermit

Lately I've been having some serious bouts of wanting to be more and more of a social hermit, not wanting to go out and preferring instead to stay home.

This streak isn't anything new... the feline part of me wants to be alone. But the rest of me often aches to go out and be sociable.

So... how do I resolve the two?

Good question. I haven't been able to find a good answer yet.

Over the years, I have learned not to butt in on other conversations if I can help it. It's rude and often I end up saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. And believe it or not, I had a reputation for being a motormouth when I was younger. Only recently have I been actively trying to break myself of that.

That in turn has me following the rule of "speak only when you're spoken to". At FC, that translated into me often being by myself and waiting for others to initiate conversations. On chats (ICQ, SL, AIM, etc.) I often don't initiate chats unless I have a specific question or comment. In fact, it's not uncommon that you'll see me online and un-idle on Trillian, but I won't start a conversation with you. I don't have anything against you, nor am I ignoring you; it's the ingrained rule taking over.

As a result, it's often easier for me to avoid going out with a group because invariably I end up listening to most of the conversation rather than making it.

And no, I don't expect to become involved with any relationship, short-term or long-term, because of this. And that's just fine for me. While having a significant other would be nice, it's really too much to ask someone else to have to put up with this... especially from me.

Now back to your regularly scheduled LJ....

So here I am, typing this entry in...

... Lani is sleeping on the living room floor, partly curled up into a furry ball.
I move to the bedroom. Lani immediately wakes up, and with a meow-chirp, runs into the bedroom and jumps on the bed. She then rubs up against the laptop that I'm currently using before curling up near my feet.

I scritch her on the head. She paws at my hand. I scold her. She responds by grooming herself.

Amazing how much Lani reminds me of myself at times...

(no subject)

Cut short plans to go out tonight because of a really bad coughing fit I had this afternoon. I was at least able to pick up technocollie and lend him the car, but given my coughing and the fact that it's raining, I decided not to go out.

What I thought was just postnasal drip leading to an incessant cough seems to have mutated into some kind of sinus infection. It hasn't given me any fever, but it has given me some mild laryngitis. Reminds me of the coughing fits I had after FC 2000, which were so bad that I had to be given Robitussin with codeine and put on quarters for 24 hours. For those not familiar with that last term, being put on quarters is being given medical orders not to go to work. It's usually reserved for those who have an acute enough problem that they can't work.

Plus, it also started raining this afternoon, and the weather doesn't look very promising for the next few days. Given all of that, I'm putting myself into forced quarantine for at least tonight. I just hope Lani doesn't catch anything from me...