(no subject)

Looking at a pretty busy day tomorrow... well, technically, later today. But anyway...

I'm helping my brother and sister clean out one of the rooms in the house so the house will be ready when we bring my mom home from the hospital for home hospice care later this week. One of the requirements of home hospice is that someone be living in the house, so my sister will be moving in, possibly as early as tomorrow.

That plan had actually been in the works for a while but it's been accelerated with the choice of home hospice care.

In the meantime, I've been drawing whatever support I can from my church group. For the most part, I've been devoting my time to being with my mom, but I've been trying to find bits and pieces of time for myself. That's been pretty easy as far as the hospital goes since visiting hours end at 8 pm. But when my mom comes home, I'll be working with my sister to care for her round the clock, at least until I leave. My sister will be the primary caregiver, but I plan to be as close by as possible.

The other day, I met with the hospice chaplain and particularly said how I felt obligated to take care of my mom along with my sister, and that I was concerned that I'd have to sacrifice all of my personal time to do so. He told me that I should also take care of myself, a sentiment echoed both by some of my friends as well as those in my church group.

My problem with taking time out for myself is that I'll feel guilty for doing so, that it's a selfish thing to do because I should be devoting that time to my mom instead. If I take the time for church, then I feel at peace because I feel I need a spiritual renewal each week... the week itself wears me down. But it's harder for me to justify spending a couple hours at the movies when my sister has to take care of mom. As it is, I hate having to answer -- to anyone -- why I made a certain choice when a seemingly better one existed.

And the winners are...

... obviously too early to tell, but without going into specifics, here's who I think will win come November 2:

President/Vice-President: George W. Bush/Dick Cheney (and, as a bonus, I think Bush/Cheney will carry Hawaii but by a very slim margin)

Honolulu Mayor: Mufi Hanneman (another close race)

Hawaii Senator: Daniel K. Inouye

Hawaii Representatives: Neil Abercrombie, Ed Case

We'll see how well my predictions do on November 3.

Free time = 0

A couple entries ago I noted that a few people told me I should make time for myself, but the reality is that once my mom comes out of the hospital later this week, I won't have any time to even make for myself.

Simply put, I'll be one of 3 primary caregivers taking care of my mom. I won't be "helping" take care of her... I'll be taking care of her, plain and simple. And that precludes meeting up with anyone, even to go to dinner, to the movies, whatever... because my mom will need 24/7 care.

And once I return to Omaha next week (a week from tonight, actually) I plan to stay within cell phone coverage as much as possible. While my household goods (furniture, clothing, etc.) have already arrived in Omaha, I'm not going to have anything delivered pending the outcome of my humanitarian reassignment request.

On a more humorous note, today we discovered a pretty big tube of KY in the headboard in my parents' room. I don't use that stuff, though I know a certain.... *ahem!*.... someone who might have had that, but if said person was using that stuff in my parents' bedroom, well.... we DEFINITELY need to have a talk! Actually, I think that might have been my dad's, but imagining him having using it -- especially with my mom -- just blows my mind. (Ow, ow, ow....)

FWIW, my dad passed away last year at the age of 80.

Happy Halloween!

(Before I forget... but I've had too much other stuff going on to really even think about/celebrate today....)